Pinky and the Brain - Songs
Song	Episode
Brainstem	Brainstem
Cheese Roll Call	Cheese Roll Call
Don Cerebro	Mouse of LaMancha
To Scheme the Improbable Scheme	Mouse of LaMancha
Pittsburg is My Land	Where the Deer and the Mousealopes Play
A Meticulous Analysis of History	A Meticulous Analysis of History
Brain Acres	Brain Acres
Make me the World's Leader	Pinky at the Bat
Mice and Angst	Broadway Malady
Brainie the Poo	Brainie the Poo
Brain Doggy Mambo	Beack Blanket Brain
Nice Boat, Candy Cane	Whatever Happened to Baby Brain
Just Say Narf	Just Say Narf
World Domination	The Really Great Dictator
Schmëerskåhøvên	Brainwashed
To Russia with Lab Mice	To Russia with Lab Mice
Hickory Dickory Bonk	Hickory Dickory Bonk

Song: Brainstem Episode: Brainstem music adapted from the tune of: Camptown Races Brain: Neo-cortex, frontal lobe Pinky: Brainstem! Brainstem! Brain: Hippocampus, neural node. Right hemisphere Brain: Pons and cortex visual Pinky: Brainstem! Brainstem! Brain: Sylvian fissure, pineal, left hemisphere Brain: Cerebellum left! Cerebellum right! Synapse, hypothalamus, striatum, dendrite Brain: Axon fibers, matter gray Pinky: Brainstem! Brainstem! Brain: Central tegmental pathway, temporal lobe Brain: White core matter, forebrain, skull Pinky: Brainstem! Brainstem! Brain: Central fissure, cord spinal, parietal Brain: Pia mater! Menengeal vein! Medulla oblongata and lobe limbic, micro-electrodes The Brain!

Song: Cheese Roll Call Episode: Cheese Roll Call music adapted from the tune of: Semper Fidelis A world of cheeses Deliciously made for you and me Flavors like Provolone and Brie Each with its own ethnicity So many cheeses Are available all around the world for you to eat Especially good with crackers and meat A nice yummy treat Thousands of cheeses The texture of some can be real gooey Others are quite firm and chewy Some are better when mildewy Bountiful cheeses When you take a big whiff a few Will make you want to spew Especially strong is the cheese Remoudou A real stinkeroo It's incredible just how many kinds there are From countries near and far It's really quite bizarre Now from the mouths of cheeses big and small We proudly present to you The cheese roll call Wensleydale: I am the British cheese Wensleydale, lightly pressed and smooth textured with a subtle milky flavor which is clean and refreshing. Pinky: Welcome, Wensleydale! Cheddam: G'day! I am Australian Cheddam, an innocuous, golden yellow, rindless block inspired by Cheddar and Edam! Pinky: Welcome, Cheddam! Edelpilzkäse: I am the German cheese Edelpilzkäse, a fine, blue-veined cheese with a pale ivory paste and very dark veins traveling vertically through me. Pinky: Welcome, Edelpil... Edel... oh, willkommen! Pinky: Thank you, cheeses! I want to eat you all! Oh, how I like my cheeses Cheese from around the world Cheese is the taste that pleases Cheese from around the world (sing with me, cheeses!) Oh, how I like my cheeses Cheese from around the world (everybody!) Cheese is the taste that pleases Cheese from around the world Around this great big world Around this big cheese world Around this great big world Around this big -- cheese -- world! Mmm... yummy! Narf!

Song: Don Cerebro de LaMancha Episode: Mouse of LaMancha music adapted from the tune of: Man of LaMancha Brain: Listen up, all you sniv'ling and cowardly mice You may live in your cage if you please But not I, for I've learned not to take just a slice When I'm destined to have the whole cheese It is I, Don Cerebro, the mouse of LaMancha I'm blessed with a huge frontal lobe For a mouse with my power, it won't take an hour I plan to take over the globe I plan to take over the globe Thanks to my huge frontal lobe Pinky: I'm Pinky; yes, I'm Pinky I poit and I narf and I say "Egad!" I botch up his plans, daily Then he conks me when he's mad Brain: Pay attention, you nobles and peasants of Spain You may think that I haven't a chance But I have an immensely superior brain Pinky: And he's wearing aluminum pants Brain: It is I, Don Cerebro... Pinky: I'm Pinky, yes... Brain: ...the mouse of La Mancha Pinky: I'm Pinky Brain: I'm blessed with a hu-- Pinky: I poit and I naarr...ooh (THUD!) Pinky: Brain? Don Cerebro?

Song: To Scheme the Improbable Scheme Episode: Mouse of LaMancha music adapted from the tune of: To Dream the Impossible Dream Brain: It's not important whether he succeeded or not. What's important is... To scheme the improbable scheme To plan the unthinkable plan To build when your arms are too tiny To walk in the suit of a man This is my fate To conquer the earth To play with the big boys Though I lack the girth To reach for the stars On a whim or a dare I could climb to the top If I only could reach the first stair And the world doesn't know what they'll miss If a mouse doesn't follow his dream To scrawl with his last bit of graphite To scheme the improbable scheme!

Song: Pittsburg is My Land Episode: Where the Deer and the Mousealopes Play music adapted from the tune of: This Land is My Land Pittsburg is my land It isn't your land Go find your own land 'Cause this is my land Please find your way to The nearest exit Pittsburg's for mousealopes only!

Song: Meticulous Analysis of History Episode: A Meticulous Analysis of History music adapted from the tune of: When I was a Lad, from HMS Pinafore Brain: Through meticulous analysis of history I will find a way to make the people worship me By studying the conquerors of days gone by I'll discover the mistakes that made them go awry Pinky: So that you can make the same mistakes if you just try Brain: By studying the past so carefully I won't repeat the same mistakes of history Pinky: You'll never make another mistake you see 'Cuz you'll fall asleep from reading all that history Brain: Pay attention, Pinky! Brain: When Cleopatra reigned as queen With Roman leaders she was often seen But when she had no ruling friend She found a poison snake to bite her in the end Pinky: A bite down there, I really wouldn't recommend Brain: I won't need world alliances When I'm commanding everyone's appliances Pinky: Oh no Brain, that would be really smart To be bitten on the bottom by a Cuisinart Brain: Hannibal, our book confirms, tried conquering Italy with pachyderms Just why he failed, nobody tells, but he never could get past the Roman sentinels Pinky: And he couldn't find his weapons in the peanut shells Brain: An elephant is not required, if I can use the media to be admired Pinky: On TV you will sure delight, unless the nework puts your show on Sunday night Brain: Attila was a mighty Hun, he ransacked Asia Minor just for fun But when he got to Europe's banks, he was routed by an army of heroic Franks Pinky: I like mine with sauerkraut and mustard, thanks Brain: Why pillage like a criminal, when I can send out messages subliminal Pinky: Please send a message to that Hun, to see if he can pillage me a hot dog bun Oh, Zort! Brain: Caligula was no boy scout, he did things that we can't even talk about The Romans knew he'd lost his head, when he filled a vacant Senate seat with Mr. Ed Pinky: What's wrong with being friendly with a thoroughbred? Brain: Why rule like such a reprobate when I can put the world in a hypnotic state? Pinky: When everybody's in a trance, you can make the people do a chicken dance (spoken) Brain: Pinky, if you don't stop this foolishness, I shall have to hurt you Pinky: 'K (back to singing) Brain: In France, Napoleon Boneparte, thought beating Austria was very smart But when he took on England too, he was beaten up by Wellington at Waterloo Pinky: And now he's just a pastry filled with creamy goo Brain: Why conquer with depravity, I'll win the world by undermining gravity Pinky: And even if your plan falls through, maybe they will name a pastry after you Brain: From Genghis Khan to Charlemagne, from Alexander down to Tamburlaine I find a ruler's tragic flaw and gain a little wisdom out of each faux pas Pinky: Don't forget the former Governor of Arkansas Brain: That concludes my little rhyme, I hope this lesson wasn't just a waste of time Pinky: Well Brain, I've learned that one thing's true Every one of them has fame and so have you

Song: Brain Acres Episode: Brain Acres music adapted from the tune of: Green Acres theme song Brain: Brain Acres is where we will go Giant vegetables is what we'll grow Kings and presidents may have their doubts But I'll take over the world with brussel sprouts Pinky: Our cage is where I feel alive I run the wheel from 9 to 5 So many happy things to do Like running the wheel again from 6 'til 2 Brain: The sun Pinky: I run Brain: I plant Pinky: I pant Brain: Get in the cab Pinky: Good bye, ACME Lab Both: Brain Acres, we are here!

Song: The Tailor and the Mice Episode: The Tailor and the Mice music adapted from the tune of: ?? There was a tailor had a mouse High diddle lumkin feedo They lived together in one house High diddle lumkin feedo High diddle lumkin Tailor Tumpkin In the town of Ramsey High diddle lumkin over the knee High diddle lumkin feedo The tailor thought his mouse was ill High diddle lumkin feedo He gave him part of a blue pill High diddle lumkin feedo High diddle lumkin Tailor Tumpkin In the town of Ramsey High diddle lumkin over the knee High diddle lumkin feedo The tailor thought his mouse would die High diddle lumkin feedo He baked him in an apple pie High diddle lumkin feedo High diddle lumkin Tailor Tumpkin In the town of Ramsey High diddle lumkin over the knee High diddle lumkin feedo The pie was cut, the mouse jumped out High diddle lumkin feedo The tailor chased him all about High diddle lumkin feedo High diddle lumkin Tailor Tumpkin In the town of Ramsey High diddle lumkin over the knee High diddle lumkin feedo The tailor thought his mouse was dead High diddle lumkin feedo So he caught another one instead High diddle lumkin feedo High diddle lumkin Tailor Tumpkin In the town of Ramsey High diddle lumkin over the knee High diddle lumkin feedo The tailor really loved his mice High diddle lumkin feedo He let them sleep on a bed of rice High diddle lumkin feedo High diddle lumkin Tailor Tumpkin In the town of Ramsey High diddle lumkin over the knee High diddle lumkin feedo The tailor chased them 'cross the bay High diddle lumkin feedo He chased them to this very day High diddle lumkin feedo High diddle lumkin Tailor Tumpkin In the lab of ACME High diddle lumkin Pinky and the Brain High diddle lumkin feedo High diddle lumkin Tailor Tumpkin In the lab of ACME High diddle lumkin Pinky and the Brain High diddle lumkin feedo

Song: Make me the whole world's leader Episode: Pinky at the Bat music adapted from the tune of: Take Me Out to the Ball Game Brain: Make me the whole world's leader Make me ruler of all Give me jurisdiction o'r everything Pinky: It doesn't matter if he can't sing both: It's bow, bow, bow to your leader Salute when his flag is unfurled Brain: And you'll all get a free season pass When I win the world

Song: Mice from Mice the Musical Episode: Broadway Malady music adapted from the tune of: Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats from Cats Are the seats filled with tourists Are the songs all the same Is the acting absurd Is the plot really lame Do you sell lots of tshirs For a really high price If you can and you do You're a show about mice Because musical mice start to dance They don't wear any pants And the people all come back for more Musical mice are musically nice And they're musical mice Song: Angst from Angst the Musical Episode: Broadway Malady music adapted from the tune of: ? What if I don't take over the world Angst When will my plan be unfurled Angst But no, I am absolutely deserving of the position to which I'm destined Regardless of the unfortunate accident of my birth into the wrong species So you see I don't have any Angst, any Angst Song: I'm Pinky from Mice the Musical Episode: Broadway Malady music adapted from the tune of: Memory from Cats I'm Pinky, all alone and it's stinky On my own I'm so dinky Since I've lost my best friend We were lab mice who thought We could take over the world But without Brain, I'm really sad Narf, Poit, Egad I sure feel bad Since I'm all on my own People listen, while the rooftops glisten And Santa ride through the snow Ooh....Poit...sorry, wrong song....ah, yes Wondering, all alone I am wondering When I'd rather be pondering 'bout a duck and a hose How I miss when you'd use all of those really big words Then you grab me, by the nose Song: I'm going to have to hurt you from Angst the Musical Episode: Broadway Malady music adapted from the tune of: ? I'm going to have to hurt you, hurt you, hurt you Have to, have to, have to Hurt you, hurt you, hurt you Song: Ballad of Angst from Angst the Musical Episode: Broadway Malady music adapted from the tune of: ? Baboon, spittoon, balloon Harpoon, typhoon, lagoon Moon, June, goon Noon, loon, prune, soon It must be April Song: Schadenfreude Polka from Angst the Musical Episode: Broadway Malady music adapted from the tune of: ? It's the Schadenfreude Polka The Schadenfreude Polka When they fall upon the ground Just laugh and dance around That's the Schadenfreude Polka

Song: Brainie the Poo Episode: The Megalomaniacal Adventures of Brainie the Poo music adapted from the tune of: Winnie the Pooh Brainie the Poo Brainie the Poo Surly often, surely he loves to grousel Brainie the Poo Brainie the Poo Power crazy, bitter, old mouse Song: The Wonderful Thing about Jagger Episode: The Megalomaniacal Adventures of Brainie the Poo music adapted from the tune of: The Wonderful Things about Tiggers The wonderful thing about Jagger Is that I'm still swinging my hips I can prowl the stage like a cat half my age And I have my original lips I'm richer than ?? My records are platinum, not gold But the grooviest thing about Jagger is I'm really, really old

Song: Brain Doggy Mambo Episode: Beach Blanket Brain music adapted from the tune of: Beach Blanket Bingo Brain Doggy Mambo Brain Doggy Mambo Brain Doggy Mambo Brain Doggy Mambo Is the song that we sing Brain: I'm a way out crazy surf-nik Traveling from shore to shore Pinky:When the kids all dig his groovin' He's the one they adore Brain Doggy Mambo Brain Doggy Mambo Brain Doggy Mambo Is the song that we sing Danette: Brain Doggy's super nifty He's the guy with the most Cranky: Odds are more than fifty-fifty That he's gonna be toast Brain Doggy Mambo Brain Doggy Mambo Brain Doggy Mambo Is the song that we sing Brain: Soon I'm going to rule the surf-set I'll be King of the Beach Pinky: Then can we adopt a new pet A sea chimpanzee named Cheech Brain Doggy Mambo Brain Doggy Mambo Brain Doggy Mambo Is the song that we sing Is the song that we sing Is the song that we sing Is the song that we sing Mambo!

Song: Nice Boat, Candy Cane Episode: Whatever Happened to Baby Brain? music adapted from the tune of: Good Ship Lollypop On the nice boat, Candy Cane It's a short trip to dental pain 'Cuz everything's sweet Lots of candy things for children to eat Try the caramel chairs Get your fill Be a candidate for the dentist's drill On marmalade seas, you're a cinch for painful gum disease Oh, the anchor's made, with licorice braid You can bet that nothin' is low cal If you eat too much, uh oh Better make time for root canal On the nice boat Candy Cane Better bring your novacaine 'Til then I say Everyone aboard for tooth decay

Song: Just Say Narf Episode: Just Say Narf music adapted from the tune of: Be a Clown Just say Narf Just say Narf When you aim to exclaim Just say Narf It doesn't make a difference if you shout or sing It doesn't mean anything Just say Poit Just say Poit Wear a hat, kiss a fish Call Detroit Now you may be a mouse that thinks that life isn't fair You get up in the wheel and you don't go anywhere At least you didn't end up being married to Cher Just say Narf Just say Narf Just say Narf Just say Narf Just say Narf It's right here in Roget's, Just say Narf So what if the numbers don't make sense on a chart Who said you gotta be smart Paint your nose Choose a plan And remember to pre-grease the pan I'm not gonna explain Newton's gravity laws It says to only use this on linoleum floors It may be a delusion, but it's sure not the cause Just say Narf Just say Narf Just say Narf Just say Narf Just say Narf Just say Narf

Song: World Domination Episode: The Really Great Dictator music adapted from the tune of: The Galop from Orpheus in the Underworld by Jacques Offenbach Brain: Noreiga, Ghengis Khan, Sadham Hussein, and me, The Brain Brain: We all have this one thing in common, we are into world domination Pinky: It's a new sensation, try it and you'll feel elation Brain: It's the gift to give the guy, who wants everything Pinky: Military takeovers Brain: Governmental makeovers Pinky: Coup d'etat and ?? Brain: It keeps your junta occupied Brain: Look here at this dotted line, as overlord I could combine Brain: And make this all one sovereign state Pinky: Oh, Overlord, you are so great Brain: I'll sew up this divided planet Brain: My regime will surely span it Pinky: Yummy! Spam, Oh will you can it? Brain: No Pinky, you will... Brain: I'll learn the language if I must Pinky: You will gain the people's trust Brain: I'll let them join my coterie Pinky: And you can buy their loyalty Brain: There are several forumlae I'd like to use for domination Brain: And to get the maximum effect out of a helpless nation Brain: Crabmeat or magnetic shoes, mind-controlling pink tutus Brain: Or a giant signal tower to telecast my mental power Brain: Think big, not small Pinky: Dominos will start to fall Brain: And then I can, be the mouse who conquers man Brain: So, if you have a calculator, you can be a great dictator Brain: Let each country that you conquer equal X Pinky: You're gonna love it Brain: Multiply by Y not try it Brain: If the people start to riot Brain: You can always say that they are just a bunch of kooks Brain: People just need to be led Pinky: By a mouse with a big head Brain: To their weakness they'll succumb Pinky: If you give them chewing gum Brain: It may bother them a bit Pinky: But they'll soon get over it Brain: They won't mind when I'm the czar both: Of all that we see near and far

Song: Schmëerskåhøvên Episode: Brainwashed music adapted from the tune of: The Macarena Put your fingers in your ears, and stick 'em in your belly Don't be afraid if it jiggles like jelly Yeah, Schmëerskåhøvên Wave your hands in the air like you won a big prize Slap yourself in the head then cross your eyes Yeah, Schmëerskåhøvên Precious' third lyric: Drop to your knees and try to look pretty Chase your tail in a circle and meow like a kitty Yeah, Schmëerskåhøvên Brain's third lyric: Give yourself a hug like the air is chilly Put your hands on your face and slap yourself silly Do your own thing, get your body groovin' Just say no to the Schmëerskåhøvên No, Schmëerskåhøvên

Song: To Russia with Mice Episode: To Russia with Lab Mice music adapted from the tune of: To Russia with Love In Russia, I've heard there's lots of spies They're all shifty guys who tell you lies Potatoes they highly prize 'Cuz they have eyes in Russia with spies Song: The Mouse with the Giant Head Episode: To Russia with Lab Mice music adapted from the tune of: The Man with the Golden Gun He's always pondering something I can't understand what he said He uses big words to confuse everyone The mouse with the giant head His DNA's mixed up, genetically fixed up He tries out a plan each night He'll be a sensation with world domination If he ever gets it right He's on a dangerous mission His nose is all shiny and red He makes calculations with pencils of lead The mouse with the giant head His nose is red No one knows what he said He eats crackers in bed With his giant head

Song: Hickory Dickory Bonk Episode: Hickory Dickory Bonk to the tune of: Hickory Dickory Dock Hickory Dickory Dock The mouse ran up the clock The clock stuck one And down he went Hickory Dickory Dock I'm writing this down to preserve my true story For I am the Brain, in a struggle for glory It happened last night, as some hot tea I swirled I hatched a new plan to take over the world Hickory Dickory Dock Brain beat his mental block The clock struck two So let's review Hickory Dickory Dock This game sure is fun, my ears are all ringing It isn't the clock, it's your head that is dinging Focus now, Pinky, I'll tell you my plan I'll make all the clocks chime from here to Japan How is that different Don't act like a dunce All over the world Clocks will all chime a once They'll chime and they'll chime Without signs of stopping Folks will plug up their ears To keep them from popping That is my moment My glorious hour For during the chaos I'll rise into power Hickory Dickory Dirk His plan was sure to work The clock struck three And verily Hickory Dickory Dirk So I plotted my plots And I planned all my plans out I'm helping you too I got all the pans out When all the clocks ring Causing eardrums to shatter I'll bang on this stuff And join in the clatter Stop making that noise While I'm trying to think Make yourself useful Fetch something to drink I'm having problems With crystals aligning But Brain, I just thought Now Pinky, stop whining Dickory Hockory Dire The mouse began to tire The clock struck four And furthermore Dickory Hockory Dire Awaken you're making me sleepy In this light, Brain, your heads really creepy Don't make me hurt you, there's no time for resting Oh righty-o, Brain, we must begin testing That grandfather clock would help test my device But how can a clock be a grandpa to mice? There, it's turned on, now the grandfather's chiming Egad, my head hurts, from all of this rhyming Tickory Flickory Tong The plan was going wrong The clock struck five Can they survive? Tickory Flickory Tong Brain struggled to fix his clock-chiming thingy It made funny sounds, like Tock, Ting, Pong, Pingy That it was finished, Brain set it and smirked He went for a nap, he was quite overworked Mugory Mugory Dime The clocks began to chime Across the land Just as they planned Mugory Mugory Dime I woke with a start, what time is it, Pinky The hands are like this, then something is stinky How did I sleep through the global clock riot You told me no noise, I made everything quiet Hickory Dickory Dock The mouse threw out the clock The Brain struck one And now we're done