Pinky and the Brain - Songs
SongEpisode
BrainstemBrainstem
Cheese Roll CallCheese Roll Call
Don CerebroMouse of LaMancha
To Scheme the Improbable SchemeMouse of LaMancha
Pittsburg is My LandWhere the Deer and the Mousealopes Play
A Meticulous Analysis of HistoryA Meticulous Analysis of History
Brain AcresBrain Acres
Make me the World's LeaderPinky at the Bat
Mice and AngstBroadway Malady
Brainie the PooBrainie the Poo
Brain Doggy MamboBeack Blanket Brain
Nice Boat, Candy CaneWhatever Happened to Baby Brain
Just Say NarfJust Say Narf
World DominationThe Really Great Dictator
SchmŽerskŚhÝvÍnBrainwashed
To Russia with Lab MiceTo Russia with Lab Mice
Hickory Dickory BonkHickory Dickory Bonk

Song: Brainstem
Episode: Brainstem
music adapted from the tune of: Camptown Races

Brain: Neo-cortex, frontal lobe
Pinky: Brainstem! Brainstem!
Brain: Hippocampus, neural node. Right hemisphere
Brain: Pons and cortex visual
Pinky: Brainstem! Brainstem!
Brain: Sylvian fissure, pineal, left hemisphere
Brain: Cerebellum left! Cerebellum right! Synapse, hypothalamus, striatum, dendrite
Brain: Axon fibers, matter gray
Pinky: Brainstem! Brainstem!
Brain: Central tegmental pathway, temporal lobe
Brain: White core matter, forebrain, skull
Pinky: Brainstem! Brainstem!
Brain: Central fissure, cord spinal, parietal
Brain: Pia mater! Menengeal vein! Medulla oblongata and lobe limbic, micro-electrodes
The Brain!
Song: Cheese Roll Call
Episode: Cheese Roll Call
music adapted from the tune of: Semper Fidelis

A world of cheeses
Deliciously made for you and me
Flavors like Provolone and Brie
Each with its own ethnicity
So many cheeses
Are available all around the world for you to eat
Especially good with crackers and meat
A nice yummy treat

Thousands of cheeses
The texture of some can be real gooey
Others are quite firm and chewy
Some are better when mildewy
Bountiful cheeses
When you take a big whiff a few
Will make you want to spew
Especially strong is the cheese Remoudou
A real stinkeroo

It's incredible just how many kinds there are
From countries near and far
It's really quite bizarre
Now from the mouths of cheeses big and small
We proudly present to you
The cheese roll call

Wensleydale: I am the British cheese Wensleydale, lightly pressed and smooth textured with a subtle milky flavor which is clean and refreshing.
Pinky: Welcome, Wensleydale!
Cheddam: G'day! I am Australian Cheddam, an innocuous, golden yellow, rindless block inspired by Cheddar and Edam!
Pinky: Welcome, Cheddam!
Edelpilzkšse: I am the German cheese Edelpilzkšse, a fine, blue-veined cheese with a pale ivory paste and very dark veins traveling vertically through me.
Pinky: Welcome, Edelpil... Edel... oh, willkommen!
Pinky: Thank you, cheeses! I want to eat you all!

Oh, how I like my cheeses
Cheese from around the world
Cheese is the taste that pleases
Cheese from around the world (sing with me, cheeses!)

Oh, how I like my cheeses
Cheese from around the world (everybody!)
Cheese is the taste that pleases
Cheese from around the world

Around this great big world
Around this big cheese world
Around this great big world
Around this big -- cheese -- world!

Mmm... yummy! Narf!


Song: Don Cerebro de LaMancha
Episode: Mouse of LaMancha
music adapted from the tune of: Man of LaMancha

Brain: Listen up, all you sniv'ling and cowardly mice
You may live in your cage if you please
But not I, for I've learned not to take just a slice
When I'm destined to have the whole cheese

It is I, Don Cerebro, the mouse of LaMancha
I'm blessed with a huge frontal lobe
For a mouse with my power, it won't take an hour
I plan to take over the globe
I plan to take over the globe
Thanks to my huge frontal lobe

Pinky: I'm Pinky; yes, I'm Pinky
I poit and I narf and I say "Egad!"
I botch up his plans, daily
Then he conks me when he's mad

Brain: Pay attention, you nobles and peasants of Spain
You may think that I haven't a chance
But I have an immensely superior brain
Pinky: And he's wearing aluminum pants

Brain: It is I, Don Cerebro...
Pinky: I'm Pinky, yes...
Brain: ...the mouse of La Mancha
Pinky: I'm Pinky
Brain: I'm blessed with a hu--
Pinky: I poit and I naarr...ooh
(THUD!)
Pinky: Brain? Don Cerebro?


Song: To Scheme the Improbable Scheme
Episode: Mouse of LaMancha
music adapted from the tune of: To Dream the Impossible Dream

Brain: It's not important whether he succeeded or not. What's important is...

To scheme the improbable scheme
To plan the unthinkable plan
To build when your arms are too tiny
To walk in the suit of a man

This is my fate
To conquer the earth
To play with the big boys
Though I lack the girth
To reach for the stars
On a whim or a dare
I could climb to the top
If I only could reach the first stair

And the world doesn't know what they'll miss
If a mouse doesn't follow his dream
To scrawl with his last bit of graphite
To scheme the improbable scheme!


Song: Pittsburg is My Land
Episode: Where the Deer and the Mousealopes Play
music adapted from the tune of: This Land is My Land

Pittsburg is my land
It isn't your land
Go find your own land
'Cause this is my land
Please find your way to
The nearest exit
Pittsburg's for mousealopes only!


Song: Meticulous Analysis of History
Episode: A Meticulous Analysis of History
music adapted from the tune of: When I was a Lad, from HMS Pinafore

Brain: Through meticulous analysis of history
I will find a way to make the people worship me
By studying the conquerors of days gone by
I'll discover the mistakes that made them go awry

Pinky: So that you can make the same mistakes if you just try

Brain: By studying the past so carefully
I won't repeat the same mistakes of history

Pinky: You'll never make another mistake you see
'Cuz you'll fall asleep from reading all that history

Brain: Pay attention, Pinky!

Brain: When Cleopatra reigned as queen
With Roman leaders she was often seen
But when she had no ruling friend
She found a poison snake to bite her in the end

Pinky: A bite down there, I really wouldn't recommend

Brain: I won't need world alliances
When I'm commanding everyone's appliances

Pinky: Oh no Brain, that would be really smart
To be bitten on the bottom by a Cuisinart

Brain: Hannibal, our book confirms, tried conquering Italy with pachyderms
Just why he failed, nobody tells, but he never could get past the Roman sentinels

Pinky: And he couldn't find his weapons in the peanut shells

Brain: An elephant is not required, if I can use the media to be admired

Pinky: On TV you will sure delight, unless the nework puts your show on Sunday night

Brain: Attila was a mighty Hun, he ransacked Asia Minor just for fun
But when he got to Europe's banks, he was routed by an army of heroic Franks

Pinky: I like mine with sauerkraut and mustard, thanks

Brain: Why pillage like a criminal, when I can send out messages subliminal

Pinky: Please send a message to that Hun, to see if he can pillage me a hot dog bun
Oh, Zort!

Brain: Caligula was no boy scout, he did things that we can't even talk about
The Romans knew he'd lost his head, when he filled a vacant Senate seat with Mr. Ed

Pinky: What's wrong with being friendly with a thoroughbred?

Brain: Why rule like such a reprobate when I can put the world in a hypnotic state?

Pinky: When everybody's in a trance, you can make the people do a chicken dance

(spoken) Brain: Pinky, if you don't stop this foolishness, I shall have to hurt you
Pinky: 'K

(back to singing) Brain: In France, Napoleon Boneparte, thought beating Austria was very smart
But when he took on England too, he was beaten up by Wellington at Waterloo

Pinky: And now he's just a pastry filled with creamy goo

Brain: Why conquer with depravity, I'll win the world by undermining gravity

Pinky: And even if your plan falls through, maybe they will name a pastry after you

Brain: From Genghis Khan to Charlemagne, from Alexander down to Tamburlaine
I find a ruler's tragic flaw and gain a little wisdom out of each faux pas

Pinky: Don't forget the former Governor of Arkansas

Brain: That concludes my little rhyme, I hope this lesson wasn't just a waste of time

Pinky: Well Brain, I've learned that one thing's true
Every one of them has fame and so have you

Song: Brain Acres
Episode: Brain Acres
music adapted from the tune of: Green Acres theme song

Brain: Brain Acres is where we will go
Giant vegetables is what we'll grow
Kings and presidents may have their doubts
But I'll take over the world with brussel sprouts

Pinky: Our cage is where I feel alive
I run the wheel from 9 to 5
So many happy things to do
Like running the wheel again from 6 'til 2

Brain: The sun
Pinky: I run
Brain: I plant
Pinky: I pant
Brain: Get in the cab
Pinky: Good bye, ACME Lab
Both: Brain Acres, we are here!

Song: The Tailor and the Mice
Episode: The Tailor and the Mice
music adapted from the tune of: ??

There was a tailor had a mouse
High diddle lumkin feedo
They lived together in one house
High diddle lumkin feedo

High diddle lumkin
Tailor Tumpkin
In the town of Ramsey
High diddle lumkin
over the knee
High diddle lumkin feedo

The tailor thought his mouse was ill
High diddle lumkin feedo
He gave him part of a blue pill
High diddle lumkin feedo

High diddle lumkin
Tailor Tumpkin
In the town of Ramsey
High diddle lumkin
over the knee
High diddle lumkin feedo

The tailor thought his mouse would die
High diddle lumkin feedo
He baked him in an apple pie
High diddle lumkin feedo

High diddle lumkin
Tailor Tumpkin
In the town of Ramsey
High diddle lumkin
over the knee
High diddle lumkin feedo

The pie was cut, the mouse jumped out
High diddle lumkin feedo
The tailor chased him all about
High diddle lumkin feedo

High diddle lumkin
Tailor Tumpkin
In the town of Ramsey
High diddle lumkin
over the knee
High diddle lumkin feedo

The tailor thought his mouse was dead
High diddle lumkin feedo
So he caught another one instead
High diddle lumkin feedo

High diddle lumkin
Tailor Tumpkin
In the town of Ramsey
High diddle lumkin
over the knee
High diddle lumkin feedo

The tailor really loved his mice
High diddle lumkin feedo
He let them sleep on a bed of rice
High diddle lumkin feedo

High diddle lumkin
Tailor Tumpkin
In the town of Ramsey
High diddle lumkin
over the knee
High diddle lumkin feedo

The tailor chased them 'cross the bay
High diddle lumkin feedo
He chased them to this very day
High diddle lumkin feedo

High diddle lumkin
Tailor Tumpkin
In the lab of ACME
High diddle lumkin
Pinky and the Brain
High diddle lumkin feedo

High diddle lumkin
Tailor Tumpkin
In the lab of ACME
High diddle lumkin
Pinky and the Brain
High diddle lumkin feedo

Song: Make me the whole world's leader
Episode: Pinky at the Bat
music adapted from the tune of: Take Me Out to the Ball Game

Brain: Make me the whole world's leader
Make me ruler of all
Give me jurisdiction o'r everything

Pinky: It doesn't matter if he can't sing

both: It's bow, bow, bow to your leader
Salute when his flag is unfurled

Brain: And you'll all get a free season pass
When I win the world

Song: Mice from Mice the Musical
Episode: Broadway Malady
music adapted from the tune of: Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats from Cats

Are the seats filled with tourists
Are the songs all the same
Is the acting absurd
Is the plot really lame
Do you sell lots of tshirs
For a really high price
If you can and you do
You're a show about mice
Because musical mice start to dance
They don't wear any pants
And the people all come back for more
Musical mice are musically nice
And they're musical mice



Song: Angst from Angst the Musical
Episode: Broadway Malady
music adapted from the tune of: ?

What if I don't take over the world
Angst
When will my plan be unfurled
Angst
But no, I am absolutely deserving of the position to which I'm destined
Regardless of the unfortunate accident of my birth into the wrong species
So you see
I don't have any Angst, any Angst


Song: I'm Pinky from Mice the Musical
Episode: Broadway Malady
music adapted from the tune of: Memory from Cats

I'm Pinky, all alone and it's stinky
On my own I'm so dinky
Since I've lost my best friend
We were lab mice who thought
We could take over the world
But without Brain, I'm really sad
Narf, Poit, Egad
I sure feel bad
Since I'm all on my own
People listen, while the rooftops glisten
And Santa ride through the snow
Ooh....Poit...sorry, wrong song....ah, yes
Wondering, all alone I am wondering
When I'd rather be pondering 'bout a duck and a hose
How I miss when you'd use all of those really big words
Then you grab me, by the nose


Song: I'm going to have to hurt you from Angst the Musical
Episode: Broadway Malady
music adapted from the tune of: ?

I'm going to have to hurt you, hurt you, hurt you
Have to, have to, have to
Hurt you, hurt you, hurt you


Song: Ballad of Angst from Angst the Musical
Episode: Broadway Malady
music adapted from the tune of: ?

Baboon, spittoon, balloon
Harpoon, typhoon, lagoon
Moon, June, goon
Noon, loon, prune, soon
It must be April


Song: Schadenfreude Polka from Angst the Musical
Episode: Broadway Malady
music adapted from the tune of: ?

It's the Schadenfreude Polka
The Schadenfreude Polka
When they fall upon the ground
Just laugh and dance around
That's the Schadenfreude Polka


Song: Brainie the Poo
Episode: The Megalomaniacal Adventures of Brainie the Poo
music adapted from the tune of: Winnie the Pooh

Brainie the Poo
Brainie the Poo
Surly often, surely he loves to grousel
Brainie the Poo
Brainie the Poo
Power crazy, bitter, old mouse


Song: The Wonderful Thing about Jagger
Episode: The Megalomaniacal Adventures of Brainie the Poo
music adapted from the tune of: The Wonderful Things about Tiggers

The wonderful thing about Jagger
Is that I'm still swinging my hips
I can prowl the stage like a cat half my age
And I have my original lips
I'm richer than ??
My records are platinum, not gold
But the grooviest thing about Jagger is
I'm really, really old


Song: Brain Doggy Mambo
Episode: Beach Blanket Brain
music adapted from the tune of: Beach Blanket Bingo

Brain Doggy Mambo

Brain Doggy Mambo
Brain Doggy Mambo
Brain Doggy Mambo
Is the song that we sing

Brain: I'm a way out crazy surf-nik
Traveling from shore to shore
Pinky:When the kids all dig his groovin'
He's the one they adore

Brain Doggy Mambo
Brain Doggy Mambo
Brain Doggy Mambo
Is the song that we sing

Danette: Brain Doggy's super nifty
He's the guy with the most
Cranky: Odds are more than fifty-fifty
That he's gonna be toast

Brain Doggy Mambo
Brain Doggy Mambo
Brain Doggy Mambo
Is the song that we sing

Brain: Soon I'm going to rule the surf-set
I'll be King of the Beach
Pinky: Then can we adopt a new pet
A sea chimpanzee named Cheech

Brain Doggy Mambo
Brain Doggy Mambo
Brain Doggy Mambo
Is the song that we sing

Is the song that we sing
Is the song that we sing
Is the song that we sing
Mambo!

Song: Nice Boat, Candy Cane
Episode: Whatever Happened to Baby Brain?
music adapted from the tune of: Good Ship Lollypop

On the nice boat, Candy Cane
It's a short trip to dental pain
'Cuz everything's sweet
Lots of candy things for children to eat

Try the caramel chairs
Get your fill
Be a candidate for the dentist's drill
On marmalade seas, you're a cinch for painful gum disease

Oh, the anchor's made, with licorice braid
You can bet that nothin' is low cal
If you eat too much, uh oh
Better make time for root canal

On the nice boat Candy Cane
Better bring your novacaine
'Til then I say
Everyone aboard for tooth decay

Song: Just Say Narf
Episode: Just Say Narf
music adapted from the tune of: Be a Clown

Just say Narf
Just say Narf
When you aim to exclaim
Just say Narf

It doesn't make a difference if you shout or sing
It doesn't mean anything

Just say Poit
Just say Poit
Wear a hat, kiss a fish
Call Detroit

Now you may be a mouse that thinks that life isn't fair
You get up in the wheel and you don't go anywhere
At least you didn't end up being married to Cher

Just say Narf
Just say Narf
Just say Narf

Just say Narf
Just say Narf

It's right here in Roget's, Just say Narf
So what if the numbers don't make sense on a chart
Who said you gotta be smart

Paint your nose
Choose a plan
And remember to pre-grease the pan

I'm not gonna explain Newton's gravity laws
It says to only use this on linoleum floors
It may be a delusion, but it's sure not the cause

Just say Narf
Just say Narf
Just say Narf

Just say Narf
Just say Narf
Just say Narf


Song: World Domination
Episode: The Really Great Dictator
music adapted from the tune of: The Galop from Orpheus in the Underworld by Jacques Offenbach

Brain: Noreiga, Ghengis Khan, Sadham Hussein, and me, The Brain
Brain: We all have this one thing in common, we are into world domination

Pinky: It's a new sensation, try it and you'll feel elation

Brain: It's the gift to give the guy, who wants everything

Pinky: Military takeovers

Brain: Governmental makeovers

Pinky: Coup d'etat and ??

Brain: It keeps your junta occupied
Brain: Look here at this dotted line, as overlord I could combine
Brain: And make this all one sovereign state

Pinky: Oh, Overlord, you are so great

Brain: I'll sew up this divided planet
Brain: My regime will surely span it

Pinky: Yummy! Spam, Oh will you can it?

Brain: No Pinky, you will...
Brain: I'll learn the language if I must

Pinky: You will gain the people's trust

Brain: I'll let them join my coterie

Pinky: And you can buy their loyalty

Brain: There are several forumlae I'd like to use for domination
Brain: And to get the maximum effect out of a helpless nation
Brain: Crabmeat or magnetic shoes, mind-controlling pink tutus
Brain: Or a giant signal tower to telecast my mental power
Brain: Think big, not small

Pinky: Dominos will start to fall

Brain: And then I can, be the mouse who conquers man
Brain: So, if you have a calculator, you can be a great dictator
Brain: Let each country that you conquer equal X

Pinky: You're gonna love it

Brain: Multiply by Y not try it
Brain: If the people start to riot
Brain: You can always say that they are just a bunch of kooks
Brain: People just need to be led

Pinky: By a mouse with a big head

Brain: To their weakness they'll succumb

Pinky: If you give them chewing gum

Brain: It may bother them a bit

Pinky: But they'll soon get over it

Brain: They won't mind when I'm the czar

both: Of all that we see near and far


Song: SchmŽerskŚhÝvÍn
Episode: Brainwashed
music adapted from the tune of: The Macarena

Put your fingers in your ears, and stick 'em in your belly
Don't be afraid if it jiggles like jelly
Yeah, SchmŽerskŚhÝvÍn

Wave your hands in the air like you won a big prize
Slap yourself in the head then cross your eyes
Yeah, SchmŽerskŚhÝvÍn

Precious' third lyric:
Drop to your knees and try to look pretty
Chase your tail in a circle and meow like a kitty
Yeah, SchmŽerskŚhÝvÍn

Brain's third lyric:
Give yourself a hug like the air is chilly
Put your hands on your face and slap yourself silly
Do your own thing, get your body groovin'
Just say no to the SchmŽerskŚhÝvÍn
No, SchmŽerskŚhÝvÍn


Song: To Russia with Mice
Episode: To Russia with Lab Mice
music adapted from the tune of: To Russia with Love

In Russia, I've heard there's lots of spies
They're all shifty guys who tell you lies
Potatoes they highly prize
'Cuz they have eyes in Russia with spies


Song: The Mouse with the Giant Head
Episode: To Russia with Lab Mice
music adapted from the tune of: The Man with the Golden Gun

He's always pondering something
I can't understand what he said
He uses big words to confuse everyone
The mouse with the giant head

His DNA's mixed up, genetically fixed up
He tries out a plan each night
He'll be a sensation with world domination
If he ever gets it right

He's on a dangerous mission
His nose is all shiny and red
He makes calculations with pencils of lead
The mouse with the giant head

His nose is red
No one knows what he said
He eats crackers in bed
With his giant head

Song: Hickory Dickory Bonk
Episode: Hickory Dickory Bonk
to the tune of: Hickory Dickory Dock

Hickory Dickory Dock
The mouse ran up the clock
The clock stuck one
And down he went
Hickory Dickory Dock

I'm writing this down to preserve my true story
For I am the Brain, in a struggle for glory
It happened last night, as some hot tea I swirled
I hatched a new plan to take over the world

Hickory Dickory Dock
Brain beat his mental block
The clock struck two
So let's review
Hickory Dickory Dock

This game sure is fun, my ears are all ringing
It isn't the clock, it's your head that is dinging
Focus now, Pinky, I'll tell you my plan
I'll make all the clocks chime from here to Japan

How is that different
Don't act like a dunce
All over the world
Clocks will all chime a once

They'll chime and they'll chime
Without signs of stopping
Folks will plug up their ears
To keep them from popping

That is my moment
My glorious hour
For during the chaos
I'll rise into power

Hickory Dickory Dirk
His plan was sure to work
The clock struck three
And verily
Hickory Dickory Dirk

So I plotted my plots
And I planned all my plans out
I'm helping you too
I got all the pans out

When all the clocks ring
Causing eardrums to shatter
I'll bang on this stuff
And join in the clatter

Stop making that noise
While I'm trying to think
Make yourself useful
Fetch something to drink

I'm having problems
With crystals aligning
But Brain, I just thought
Now Pinky, stop whining

Dickory Hockory Dire
The mouse began to tire
The clock struck four
And furthermore
Dickory Hockory Dire

Awaken you're making me sleepy
In this light, Brain, your heads really creepy
Don't make me hurt you, there's no time for resting
Oh righty-o, Brain, we must begin testing

That grandfather clock would help test my device
But how can a clock be a grandpa to mice?
There, it's turned on, now the grandfather's chiming
Egad, my head hurts, from all of this rhyming

Tickory Flickory Tong
The plan was going wrong
The clock struck five
Can they survive?
Tickory Flickory Tong

Brain struggled to fix his clock-chiming thingy
It made funny sounds, like Tock, Ting, Pong, Pingy
That it was finished, Brain set it and smirked
He went for a nap, he was quite overworked

Mugory Mugory Dime
The clocks began to chime
Across the land
Just as they planned
Mugory Mugory Dime

I woke with a start, what time is it, Pinky
The hands are like this, then something is stinky
How did I sleep through the global clock riot
You told me no noise, I made everything quiet

Hickory Dickory Dock
The mouse threw out the clock
The Brain struck one
And now we're done